


She's Got A Way About Her

by brokenbottleaurora



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Personal Growth, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-06-13 04:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenbottleaurora/pseuds/brokenbottleaurora
Summary: Remus never intended to volunteer for this mission- living out of a suitcase, giving speeches, recruiting strangers for a cause. But when Tonks gives him *that* look, he knows he would follow her anywhere. Can she convince him to follow his heart?





	1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: If the Potterverse was mine, things would have gone very differently. That said, many thanks to JK Rowling for letting us play in the world she created. It's one hell of a sandbox._

* * *

_Early July, 1996_

"And it is too dangerous for our prospective allies to be sent sensitive information via owl!" Remus growled as he slammed his fist on Grimmauld Place's kitchen table.

Molly Weasley shot him a withering look. "Then how do you expect us to recruit anyone? We've exhausted our local contacts. The only wizards left nearby are our children, and you will NOT be recruiting them, no matter how willing they are to join. What do you suggest? Do we ask our friends to throw neighborhood parties and offer them a hostess gift if enough people show up? We can't just go door to door like that and say, 'How d'you do, would you like to join our secret resistance group? By the by, if you get caught it means almost certain death.' Owls are our only-"

"But why not?" Dumbledore interrupted. The whole table turned to look at him as if he'd finally lost his mind. Molly's face rapidly cycled from red to white to red again, and she opened her mouth to scream at her new target.

"I don't mean recruiting your children, my dear Molly," placated the old man. "I was merely suggesting that some of the Order visit our loyal friends across the country. If they happen to discreetly invite some of their like-minded neighbors to join, then the more the merrier." His far-away blue eyes twinkled with mischief, already seeing the cogs of his plan turning.

Kingsley leaned back in his chair and scratched his chin. "The plan could have merit. After all, we  _have_  been looking for ways to utilize our allies in the farther reaches of Britain. If we could have them host small get-togethers, we'd reach a far greater number of witches and wizards sympathetic to our cause with little to risk to their own person."

"First I think we should ask if anyone would be interested in such a mission," reminded Emmaline Vance. "It's going to be fairly dangerous for us. We have no idea if our 'friends' remain loyal to us or if they've been turned by You-Know-Who's crowd."

"Ten points to Ravenclaw, Ms. Vance, for proper skepticism and good use of logic," Dumbledore joked before his face turned serious once again. "I'd like to have at least three pairs. Pairs are easy enough to travel in and call little attention to themselves, but having a partner also offers some level of protection. Do we have any volunteers?"

Remus dejectedly sank back in his chair; he knew he could never volunteer for this kind of mission. What kind of wizard would willingly welcome a werewolf into their home? His friends here in the Order were happy to do so, but then again they were exceptions to many rules.

Minerva and Filius locked eyes for a moment and raised their hands together. Dumbledore nodded his assent. It was summertime, and no one would think twice about a couple of Hogwarts professors using their holidays to visit some old friends. They would certainly have no trouble appealing to the Order's more logical, academically inclined potential allies.

Alastor Moody slapped the table and barked "Eh, what else does an old bastard like me have to do other than sit around. Count me in."

Hestia Jones and Tonks also raised their hands. Tonks had recently gone on indefinite leave from the Aurors- it was too corrupt and therefore too dangerous for her to stay, no matter how much her position had been an advantage. Hestia had been about to finish her Charms mastery when her mentor was killed a year ago trying to protect his neighbors from Death Eaters. Both were excellent duelers and good choices for this mission.

Dumbledore looked torn. Remus knew he could send the three of them together, but that would put two former Aurors on the same team, which would be a waste of manpower. The headmaster wouldn't send two women together- the old Gryffindor sense of chivalry never really died. That really only left him one option. "Ms. Jones, would you mind accompanying Alastor? I'm afraid his passion and attitude could be a bit abrasive to some of our friends. I think he could use your tact and social skills for these visits. No offense, my old friend," Albus finished.

"Eh, none taken," Moody grunted.

Hestia grinned. "I don't mind at all. It will be nice to put all those pure-blood manners my mother drilled into me to good use." Remus knew the headmaster would send that pair to the Order's more high-brow friends. They'd respect and be impressed by Moody's history, and Hestia would be able to talk their talk and assuage their fears about supporting the Light. A surprisingly good partnership.

"So where does that leave me?" Tonks asked, looking around the table, beseeching  _anyone_  else to volunteer.

"My dear, I don't believe this is a mission you would like to undertake alone." Seeing the pout on the young woman's face, Dumbledore smiled sadly. "It's not that you can't do it, Ms. Tonks. I just believe it would be much safer for you if you had a partner along."

Without hesitation, Tonks turned that pretty pout to an unsuspecting werewolf. Remus groaned internally. He'd always been a goner when she gave him that look.

* * *

_Early November, 1981_

Remus stood at the back of the crowd in the small cemetery of Godric's Hollow, rapidly alternating between crushing grief and even more crushing emptiness. How was he supposed to go on when three of his best friends were dead at the hands of the man he'd once counted as close as a brother? On top of it all, sweet little Harry had been swept away to some unknown location to live with his magic-hating aunt and uncle. Remus steeled himself against the onslaught of tears as another wave of unbearable sadness washed over him.

Those who had gathered to mourn the loss of James and Lily began to disperse. Seeing that most everyone had Apparated away, Remus was pulled to the headstone by some unseen force. He placed a cold hand against the even colder white marble. " _The last enemy that shall be defeated is death_ ". James and Lily would have hated the epitaph that Dumbledore chose.

That thought broke the dam in the werewolf's eyes. Remus fell to his knees, quietly sobbing before the two fresh graves. He knew he would never again feel as safe or at home as he had in that Hogwarts dorm or the tiny cottage. He'd felt so incredibly blessed to have found friends that loved him despite his lycanthropy. They had taken him in, fed him, clothed him, housed him when he didn't have money or a place to stay. More than that, they had appreciated the man and, besides becoming Animagi, never given a second thought to the wolf. Remus knew that, left to his own devices, he'd never be so lucky again.

He was pulled from his reverie when he felt a small hand on his shoulder. Remus looked up into a pair of gray eyes eerily similar to those of his once-best-friend and swiped a ragged sleeve across his own amber ones.

"Why are you crying?" asked the dark haired little girl. She wasn't more than seven or eight, so she was clearly here with someone attending the funeral.

"I just lost all four of my best friends," Remus explained in a thick voice. "It feels like I'm never going to be happy or have friends again. I don't think I can live without them." He felt strange pouring out his heart to a child, but something about her compelled him to do so. It was oddly cathartic.

The girl cocked her head and furrowed her brow. "You were friends with Ms. Lily?" He could only nod. "She used to baby-sit me sometimes when my mummy and daddy had to go to work. She worked really hard with me on my hair and my face."

It was Remus's turn to look confused. Then he saw the young girl turn into a perfect miniature of Lily Potter right before his eyes. He remembered Lily talking about working with Andy and Ted's daughter on her metamorphagus skills- Lora, Dory, Dorea, something like that.

"I used to get really sad when I couldn't control it," the girl said, interrupting his train of thought. "I wanted to give up for a  _really_  long time. Like two whole months!" she exclaimed. "But Ms. Lily wouldn't let me."

Remus chuckled for the first time in a week. That sounded exactly like Lily Potter. "Well I'm glad the two of you got it sorted," he replied.

"It took a really long time," she stressed, "but Ms. Lily said I just had to be an optometrist about it."

Remus surprised himself with a belly laugh.

"Don't laugh at me!" she demanded with a pout. "I'm trying to tell you something here. Grown-ups never listen," she muttered.

The werewolf sat up in silence, startled by just how much she sounded like Sirius when she said that. Tears began to prickle as the grief began creeping in again.

"Better," she smirked, missing his glassy eyes. "You think it's too hard to not have your friends anymore?"

Remus nodded. He'd been despondent before meeting them, and he was utterly alone and miserable without them again.

"You're wrong," the girl countered. "It's gonna be hard, but you just have to keep trying. That's what Ms. Lily told me about my hair. Keep trying, and be optometristic that it will happen. Then one day, you'll figure out you can do it. And the more you do it, the less hard it gets. Someday, you won't have to try anymore. Like me and my hair!" she finished with a smile.

Remus stared at her. He was getting life advice from a seven-year-old- a rather bright, insightful one, but still. This had to be rock bottom. And maybe she was right, but Remus couldn't bear to bring himself to try. What point was there in continuing to fight? It wasn't worth living with this loneliness, this hopelessness and despair....

"Please, mister?" the little girl begged, yanking him from his path of destructive thoughts. "You have to try. You know that's what Ms. Lily would want," she said with the most adorable pout. She looked so desperate for him to listen to her. He felt his wallowing mood crumble at the sheer power of her pleading expression.

"Of course. I'll give it a shot for you and Ms. Lily," Remus croaked. The little girl beamed.

"Dora! There you are!" Andy yelled and came striding over. "I'm sorry if she was bothering you Remus. I  _told_  her to leave the adults alone," she said, scowling at her daughter.

"Quite all right, Andy," Remus responded, drying his eyes yet again. "She's actually been giving me some good advice."

"Oh really?" she said dubiously.

"From the mouths of babes," he answered with a shrug. "Goodbye, Andy. Goodbye, Ms. Dora."

He walked to the apparition point with a bit more spring in his step. He nodded to the waving little girl in the distance and vanished from the cemetery.

* * *

_July 1996_

He doubted Tonks remembered just how much she could affect him, but Remus was quite aware. Without realizing, he raised his hand. The whole table shifted to look at him now.

"I could go with Tonks," Remus murmured.

The rest of the Order looked either confused or surprised. Dumbledore simply nodded, thinking of all the more dangerous places he could send a former Auror and a werewolf.

Remus never noticed. All he ever saw was the wide grin on Tonks's face.


	2. Chapter 2

"…Some of you may remember that, back when the wizarding world was dealing with Grindelwald, the muggles were waging a war of their own. In their war, groups of people were consistently singled out by an evil leader. When one group fell to his followers' wrath, he would begin to vilify another. Eventually, had he not been stopped, the evil leader would have killed nearly everyone just to conquer the world. And though many did not really agree with his ideas, they sat idly by because they weren't the ones being hunted-  _it wasn't their problem_. One very intelligent muggle described best like this:

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

"Because I was not a Socialist.

"Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—

"Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

"Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

"Because I was not a Jew.

"Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

"Voldemort has already come for the muggleborns and the so-called blood traitors. He is coming for other magical creatures and races. My friends, you cannot afford to wait until he comes for you. Speak out now, even if it scares you, because it is your only hope-  _our_  only hope.

"Thank you for your time. Miss Tonks and I will be here for the next hour or so to answer questions and provide you with contact information if you would like it."

Remus sat back down at the well-scrubbed kitchen table to thunderous applause. He fought not blush at his open display of passion, but he  _was_  pleased that it was so well received.

Tonks elbowed him in the ribs. "Bloody hell, Remus! This is the fifth night in a row you've had the whole lot of them riled up and ready to fight. They oughta give you a permanent job doing this!" she said with a genuine grin.

Despite his best efforts, Remus couldn't help but think how beautiful she was when she smiled like that. And the way she always made him feel good about himself? Priceless to the werewolf. A million butterflies took flight in his stomach. Get a grip, man, he thought to himself, she's a full decade younger than you!

He and Tonks milled about, taking donations and passing out pamphlets to those who were interested. By the time all the guests had left, it was after ten p.m. and the two friends were exhausted. They collected their suitcases from where their party host had temporarily stashed them and Apparated to the next town.

In a small village outside Leeds, Remus threw open the door of the motel room that had a "pay-by-the-hour" option. Shady muggle motels were their best chance at moving about unnoticed, and magic gave them the advantage of at least knowing it was clean. Shaking the rain from his hair, Remus took two steps into the room and dropped the two suitcases he held, speechless.

"Shove over, Moony," Tonks grumbled as she elbowed past him. "Why are you stopped in the bloody doorway? It's pouring out here!"

Barely managing to get around the large man blocking her path, she stumbled with her usual grace and fell onto the bed… the only bed in the room.

"Bloody hell," he muttered under his breath.

"Blimey, what was the old man at the check-in getting at?" Tonks exclaimed. "I don't mind bunking with you, but this was a bit presumptive of him, dontcha think?"

"It was the only room left," Remus explained with a roll of his eyes, "and there's no way that sleaze-bag will give us our money back."

Tonks considered the situation for a moment. "I suppose we could always transfigure a bed. Might not be as comfortable, but looking at this mattress, I can't say for sure. Plus we'll need to enlarge the room. Won't be able to fit more than a dog bed in here otherwise," she teased lightly.

"Shut up," Remus playfully groused, and then he shook his head. "The amount of magic it'll take just to tidy this place up will be in danger of overloading the muggle electrics even if they  _have_  been updated since the fifties – which doesn't look likely. There's no way they could handle a transfiguration as large as a bed on top of the cleaning charms. And I'm  _not_  staying here without the cleaning charms."

Tonks froze. "So we're actually going to have to share a bed?"

Heaving a deep breath, Remus nodded. "It won't be that bad," he muttered. Compared to his impassioned speech just minutes earlier, that sentence wasn't exactly a rhetorical triumph.

Together, the two travelers began cleaning the room, which took even more cleaning charms than Remus had anticipated. Finally finished, the werewolf picked up the suitcases and placed them on top of the battered, rickety dresser, unsure what to say to dispel the awkward tension.

Tonks had no such problem. "Well, if this is going to be as awkward as we're making it, we can at least go get drunk. Plus, if we're passed out, we can't roll over on top of each other."

As much as he tried not to take his alcohol to extremes, it sounded like a pretty good idea to Remus. "I think I saw a pub a few streets down. Let's check it out."

The two quickly exited the motel room and hustled down to the pub, exchanging few words in the process. They snagged a table, flagged down the haggard barmaid, and sat in silence until she poured the first round and they found a seat.

"Well," Tonks began, "this is not how I envisioned spending this trip."

Remus snorted. "That makes two of us. When I volunteered for this gig, I figured we'd be staying with Order members or well-known allies or something, but noooooo. 'Stick with muggle motels' Albus said, 'they're virtually untraceable'. After five nights of this, I'm ready to tell the headmaster where he can stuff his untraceable lumpy motel mattress," he finished, waving for another round.

The former auror threw back her head in a fit of laughter. "Yeah, I feel pretty much the same. I was expecting a little more intrigue and adventure and glamour. Instead we're staying in shitholes that have got you pulling out obscure cleaning charms just to make them livable."

Remus retrieved the next set of pints as well a few shots of whiskey each. "Needless to say, this is not a luxury holiday. But I do feel pretty good about the meetings," he commented.

"You should!" Tonks cried as they tossed back the shots and, grimacing, chased it with half their new beers. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she continued. "You've completely stolen the show every night. I honestly don't know why I was even necessary," she joked.

The pleased smile fell from his face. "Because no one wants a werewolf around without some sort of supervision or protection," Remus said darkly.

"Pish tosh," she replied, waving away his comment. "The people we've seen don't- or at least shouldn't- care about that kind of thing. And from the way they keep giving you standing ovations and shaking your hand like you're the bloody minister, I'd say they feel the same. You're really an incredible speaker, Remus."

Somehow she always knew what to say to make him feel better. He could feel the blood creep into his cheeks and began to study the table beneath his fingertips, trying to hide his face. He wasn't quite quick enough.

"I never thought I'd be able to make a Marauder blush!" Tonks declared with a chuckle. "I thought I'd at least have to make a filthy sex joke or talk about my cycle to ever get one of you. I'm a bit disappointed, to be honest."

Remus tuned out everything after "sex". He couldn't help it, really, being celibate for far too long would do that to a bloke. His companion seemed to notice his wandering mind.

"Been a while, huh, stud?" Tonks winked.

The man's flush deepened. "You have no bloody idea," Remus mumbled, shocked at himself for being so open with her. She just had a way.

It was Tonks' turn to look uncomfortable. "I probably understand better than you think."

Both thoroughly embarrassed, they grabbed another round of beer and shots, draining both quickly. True to form, Tonks was the first to recover from the discomfort.

"Remus, I really don't understand why you don't date- and don't give me that 'furry little problem' shit either," she began, slamming the yet another two pint glasses onto the scarred table top. "You are an amazing  _man_ , and any woman worth her salt would be happy to have you, 'problem' or not."

Oh, this woman was dangerous, Remus thought. He could get addicted to the positivity and kindness that seemed to come so naturally to her.

"As much as I'd like to thank you for the compliments, I have to disagree," he argued. "The fact remains that I'm a wer- a  _you-know-_ what. I'm miserable to be around three days out of the month, I can't keep a steady job, and I'm covered in hideous scars. No woman in her right mind  _should_  want me."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "To be so intelligent, you're an idiot."

"Whatever. While we're on the subject, I haven't exactly seen  _you_  bringing any boyfriends around lately," Remus shot back, slurring slightly.

"At least I have a good reason," she grumbled. "I can't go on more than two dates with a guy before he starts asking me to change things. My hair, my nose, my bra size, my butt. No one ever seems to want just Tonks," she said sadly.

His eyes softened with understanding. "I'm so sorry, Tonks. That's just… that's just terrible."

The woman shrugged. "That's how it's always been. Honestly, I think you're one of the few people that's never asked me to change anything about myself, not even in humor." She looked up from her glass, all traces of alcohol-fog gone from her eyes, and pinned him with the sincerity of her gaze. "Thank you for that, Remus."

For a few fleeting moments, they were the only two in the pub.

The sound of raucous laughter from a few tables over broke the spell, and the two silently agreed to leave the hard topics for later and speak only of happy things. The more they drank, the more they learned about the other- favorite colors, childhood pets, silliest memories.

Remus couldn't help but feel buoyed just by Tonks' presence. Every smile, every sweet word, every gentle touch was like a wave washing up against his heart, soothing some of the pain held there and quietly breaking down his defenses.

They exited the pub laughing and propping each other up as the proprietor flipped the sign to "Closed" and shut the door behind them. Hand in hand, they stumbled back to their tiny motel room, all thoughts of the lone bed forgotten.

Until they opened the door.

"Bollocks," Remus cursed under his breath, grabbing the door frame for support.

"Yeah, I'd- hiccup- forgot about this bit too," Tonks said- or at least that's what Remus understood from her garbled speech.

"Ughhhh, IIIIIIII'm gonna change in the bathroom," Remus continued. "Youuuu"- he pointed shakily at his companion- "can change in heeeere. I'll knoooock before I come out."

He staggered into the bathroom with his old Gryffindor shirt and favorite holey sweats. A few moments later, he knocked to announce his exit, and he heard a giggling "All clear, Wolfie!" from Tonks. He walked back into the bedroom and his jaw dropped.

Tonks lay stretched across the bed in a short, black knit night dress, drinking directly from a bottle of Ogden's Finest. Any other night, the man would have found the dress a bit sexy but not too distracting. Drunk Remus couldn't keep his eyes off the long, toned legs it revealed or the supple hips it stretched across.

"Like whatcha sheeee, Moony?" Tonks said with another pull from the bottle.

Uninhibited for once, Remus simply nodded, allowing his eyes to roam the length of her body a few more times before moving to sit on the bed with her. Taking the bottle from her, he took a long swig and silently hoped this night would never end.

"I propose a little game," Tonks drawled. "It's called Never- hiccup- Haf I Ever. All you hafta do is- hiccup- say something you'f done. If I hafn't done it, I hafta take- hiccup- a drink. If I haf, you haf to drink. Easy peasy- hiccup."

Remus the Rational Thinker didn't like where this was going- it could make things  _very_  (ital.) complicated. Remus the Drunk and Randy Man told him to shut the hell up.

"Oooookay," he agreed. "Never have I everrrrrr… played real Kw-Quik-Quidditch!"

Tonks grinned and took a drink. The game continued innocently for half an hour, and each was ruthlessly trying to get the other drunker.

"You're more- hiccup- experienced than I thought, M-M-Moooooony," Tonks said, getting a mischievous look in her gray eyes. "Hummmmmmm… Never haf I ever kissed a werewolf."

Remus stilled, trying to get a read on the situation through his drunken stupor. Fuck it, he thought. "Neverrrr have I everrrr kissed a metamorphagus."

Tonks' eyes darkened to a deep pewter, and Remus felt his heart begin to race. "Well, why don't we fix that?" she purred, leaning in.

Her lips crashed into his, and Remus eagerly returned the kiss. This he could get used to.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

 

The light streaming through the dingy curtains gave Remus a rude awakening and intensified the sensation of the Seven Dwarves mining in his skull. Groaning, he tried to spit the cotton from his mouth and then thoughtlessly summoned a vial of the stop-gap healing potion he always kept on hand. It flew directly into his waiting hand, and he uncorked it and swallowed it down with a gagging gulp. It wasn't a perfect cure, but it would knock back the worst of his symptoms until he could get to Grimmauld Place and brew up a quick hangover potion. He flopped back onto his- oddly lumpy, now that he thought about it- bed. He was a little unsure of where exactly he was, but if he was in a bed, it couldn't be that bad…

"Oi!" Tonks groused, swatting his bare chest. "Gimme one too!" She was on her stomach, facing away from him and lying completely still in what had to be an uncomfortable position. She only moved from her statue-like state to tug her pillow over her head and block out the sun.

At her first sign of life, Remus had frozen.

Oh. Shit.

He took a moment to rub his eyes, hoping this was just a bad dream or some figment of his imagination. Yeah, he thought, it was definitely just an illusion brought on by what must have been a hard night of drinking.

That illusion was shattered when Tonks landed another blow to his ribs, then wiggled her open hand in a silent demand for relief. Remus summoned another vial and pressed it into her palm. She quickly downed the contents with a shudder and, gathering the sheet about her, sat up looking marginally better.

"Bloody hell, I haven't felt like this since the night after graduation," Tonks muttered. She glanced over at the man sitting quietly next to her. "Not much of a morning person, are you?"

Remus remained silent, staring blankly ahead, eyes slightly rounded in shock as the events of last night came rushing back to him.

Tonks leaned over and gently poked his bicep. "Hellooooo, anyone home?"

That seemed to pull the man from his trance. Remus whipped his head around and, in a voice barely audible over the morning noises of the village, asked, "How much do you remember?"

"Well, there are a few fuzzy spots, but once the pants came off it's all very clear," she joked. "Speaking of which, that thing you did with-"

"I am  _so_  sorry," Remus whispered in horror.

Tonks cocked her head slightly. "I'm trying to give you a compliment here, Moony. No need to apologize for an  _incredible_  night," she said, batting her lashes.

"That should not have happened," he continued as though he'd never heard her. He grabbed his pajama bottoms, which were mercifully lying on the floor next to him, and began trying to discreetly tug them on.

"And why the hell not?" Tonks hissed, jerking her nightdress back over her head and moving to rummage in her bag.

"We had this conversation last night," Remus said sternly, tugging on the rest of his clothes, "and we're not going to rehash it now."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"Keep your voice down! I've already made my feelings clear on the matter."

"I'm just as involved in this as you are! And gladly so! In fact, I wouldn't be opposed to another round-"

" _No!_  Last night was a mistake, and you know it!"

"Was not, you stupid plonker!"

"Really mature, Tonks, going with the name calling."

"Oh, so now you're listening to me?"

"I don't think either one of us is doing a bloody good job of listening."

"Sod it all, Remus, stop being so reasonable! I'm trying to have a fight with you!"

"I don't  _want_  to fight with you," Remus growled in frustration. Tonks was looming at him from the other side of the bed, arms akimbo and a fierce scowl marring her face. Remus sighed; he felt like shit for making her so upset. But she just  _had_  to understand his side of the argument, why he couldn't just… be with her like a normal guy. Because, despite his every wish, he was not a normal guy.

Realizing that her usual "beg and bulldoze" method wasn't going to work here, Tonks deflated a bit and flopped down on the mattress, patting the spot next to her. Remus slowly sank on to the bed, making sure to keep a safe distance between them.

"Let's try this," she suggested carefully. "I obviously want to be with you and, if I'm reading this right, you feel the same way, but you have some reservations. Why don't you tell me exactly what you're concerned about, and we can talk about what, if anything, we can do about it? I promise to actually try to listen to any of your realistic, tangible concerns if you will be open to solutions and compromises. Fair enough?"

Remus nodded slowly. "Alright… Let's start out with the major issue at hand. I'm a werewolf-"

"And I've already told you I don't care about that!" Tonks interjected.

"I thought you were going to listen?" he retorted, quirking an eyebrow.

"I promised to  _try_ ," she grumbled under her breath, motioning for him to continue.

" _Anyway_ , number one, I'm a werewolf, which is a danger to your overall safety. On full moons I change into a horrid beast and retain no semblance of my human mind. I have to spend those nights locked up in a cage in the attic of Grimmauld Place, praying the bars hold so that I don't go on a murderous rampage." Remus crossed his arms, smiling grimly as if that one complication settled everything.

Tonks gave him a hard look. "You know you don't scare me, right? I'm a fully trained Auror, and, despite my clumsiness, I'm fully capable of defending myself without really hurting you. And  _I_  think it would be a good idea to have someone else hanging around Grimmauld Place during full moons in case your cage doesn't hold. I could charm it so that, if it breaks, it would wake me up and I could stun you before you even got to a different part of the house."

"I can see the logic in that," Remus said begrudgingly. "But I'm also miserable to be around for a few days before and after my transformation. I'm moody and achy and irritable and tired and a complete pain in the arse! No one should have to be deal with their significant other acting like that for a full week out of the month."

She snorted. "You realize you've also described a menstrual cycle, which is incredibly familiar to women in general. We understand how to deal with those symptoms both in ourselves and the people around us- it usually involved a lot of pain potions, naps, and chocolate. And the word is boyfriend, Moony. Get used to it," Tonks finished saucily.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, I guess you have a point there. But if I was your- your boyfriend, you have to know how people would judge you. People see me, they see my scars, and they judge me. I'm used to it, so I don't really care that much. But it would kill me to see them look at you that way just for holding my hand or sneer at you for letting me kiss your cheek- and that's completely ignoring our very abnormal age difference. I don't want you to  _ever_  experience that kind of isolation and belittlement. I've been there, done that, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not you." He turned his head, falling into a memory of when that wasn't his reality.

Tonks tried to discreetly dab at her eyes. "Thanks, Remus. I'm blown away that you would feel so strongly about the way people treat me." She straightened and then pulled his face back to hers so she could look him in the eye. "But you have to know that I've already dealt with so much of that. I got used to the strange looks when I was walking in Diagon Alley and my hair changed colors or my nose turned into a beak. And honestly I think it might be a nice change to have people run from me instead of asking me to turn myself into Gilderoy Lockhart or one of the Weird Sisters." Seeing the intense pain in his eyes, she tenderly stroked his cheek and pulled her hand away.

"I'm so sorry," Remus whispered. "I know we talked about it last night, but I never thought about how the general population would see your gift.

"'S not your fault," she murmured, gently taking his hand. "You make it better."

"I'm sorry about that too," he lamented.

"Stop apologizing, you prat," Tonks smiled softly, playfully nudging him with her shoulder. "Anything else we need to cover?"

"Well, there's the fact that I will probably never be able to support you, even if I had a steady supply of Wolfsbane. Wizards don't want to hire a werewolf, and muggles don't want to hire someone that misses three days of work in row every month and looks as frightening as I do," Remus moped.

A short laugh bubbled from Tonks' lips. "Moony, at this point, I'm not worried about anyone supporting me. As I see it, we're both likely going to be on Dumbledore's payroll at least until the war is over. After that- and that's assuming we survive this thing- I plan to go back to being an Auror. That salary could easily support both of us and probably a couple of kids."

Against his better judgement, Remus began to consider the idea of children, and, to his chagrin, he was elated at the thought. He'd never had the courage to dream of what Tonks was offering him now. It sounded so perfect… And Remus knew from experience that, for people like him, some things were too good to be true. But could he survive after life jerked this burgeoning dream away from him? Best to rip the plaster off now before it got any more painful.

"Tonks, I appreciate how much effort you're putting in to make this"- he gestured between them- "work. But all of this sounds like nothing but compromise and sacrifice on your part, and I can't be so selfish as to take you away from a better life just because I want to be with you."

She jerked her hand out of his and leapt from the bed. "Did you hear absolutely nothing that I just said?! For Merlin's sake, you brainless wanker! How dense are you? Does your lycanthropy prevent you from understanding new concepts?" she snapped. "Why can't you understand that  _I don't care_! Why can't you get it through your thick skull that I don't consider this a sacrifice or feel like I'm giving anything up for you? In fact, I would be giving up my own happiness to  _not_  be with you! And since that would make us both unhappy, it's a stupid idea!"

Remus sat gaping at her, unsure of how to respond to her outburst.

Seeing that her tirade didn't have the desired effect, Tonks began maniacally pacing on her side of the bed, the wheels visibly turning in her mind. "You know what, Moony? I don't think any of that is the actual problem. The real issue is that you're afraid. You're afraid of letting someone in. You're afraid that they and all the good things they bring to your life will be ripped away from you. And knowing what I do about your past, I can't really blame you for feeling that way." She paused and turned to face him.

"You know I remember that day in the graveyard? At the Potters' funeral? I was only seven, but I swear that day is burned into my mind. I remember how sad my mother was and how everyone talked about what a loss the world had suffered that week. But what I remember most is you kneeling at their headstone, looking like you had lost everything good in your life- your friends, your family, your direction, your bloody will to live. Honestly, it looked like you were about to die right there with them. But Remus," she breathed, kneeling on the bed and taking both his hands in hers, "you didn't. You made it through all that, more or less in one piece. Yes, you've struggled. Yes, you've been isolated. Yes, it's been really,  _really_  hard. But you chose to be brave, to keep going despite it all, and just think of all you've done! You taught an entire school of students how to defend themselves, and to this day they tell everyone you're the best they ever had. You found out your best friend was innocent and enjoyed another year of life with him that you never thought you'd get! You're giving speeches to complete strangers every night and actually convincing them to help us fight You-Know-Who. You are so incredibly brave. Please, just drum up a little extra courage, take a leap of faith, whatever you want to call it, and try, really try to let me in. Let me love you, you silly wolf," she crooned, wiping away the tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

They stayed in their intimate position for a few long moments, soaking in the comfort and closeness.

Remus shifted his weight uncomfortably, clearing his throat and scrubbing his hands down his wet face. "I feel like such a woman after all those…  _feelings_ ," he whined. He caught an elbow to the ribs for that and had to fight off a grin.

"You win," he relented. "I want to give this thing a shot- a real, honest chance. I know that's what I  _want_  to do; I know that's what  _feels_  right. But truthfully, my head is still screaming that this could be a bad idea."

It was Tonks' turn to roll her eyes. "Moony, you're the type of person who is always going to overthink and over-analyze every situation. In cases like this, when your head full of doubts is holding you back, you've got to trust your heart to lead you forward," she gently chastised, patting his chest.

"You know, you're pretty good at all this emotional shite," he quipped, receiving another blow to the side for his comment.

"Shut up, you great prat," she snickered, moving to straddle his lap.

Remus gave her his best crooked grin. "But if you're really willing to give this a shot, I'm your prat."

"Then that you are, Moony, that you are," she sighed happily, lying her head in the crook of his neck. "Now, if I remember correctly, there's a pay-by-the-hour option at this fine establishment?"

He nodded, liking where this conversation was headed.

"Well," Tonks breathed in ear, "I'd say we could afford to stay a little while longer and celebrate our breakthrough." She slowly dragged a single finger down his chest.

"I don't think the Order would mind," Remus muttered, sliding a hand behind her head and pulling her in for a deep kiss.

When they finally returned the money pouch to Albus relatively lighter than he anticipated, the old man kept his thoughts to himself and simply smiled, thankful that there was a little more love in the world.


End file.
